


This Is Who I'm Meant To Be

by dragonydreams



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Dom!Leonard, Dom/sub, F/M, Leonard Snart Big Bang 2018, Past Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Past Nyssa al Ghul/Sara Lance, Sub!Mick, Whipping, sub!Sara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 14:41:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15865689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonydreams/pseuds/dragonydreams
Summary: When Leonard tells Sara to stand down from killing Stein, it resonates with her in a way that she never expected to feel again. Can he be what she now needs him to be?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Between 1.05 (Fail-Safe) and 1.07 (Marooned)
> 
> Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Berlanti Productions, DC Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Television. Any recognizable dialog belongs to them.
> 
> Betas: Thank you to angelskuuipo and shanachie for looking this over for me. Also a big thank you to my additional beta, who chose to remain anonymous, for helping to make sure that I got the D/s parts of the story accurate.
> 
> Author's Note 1: Written for @leonardsnartbigbang - My goal was 5,000 words, which I went a little over. ;) 
> 
> Author's Note 2: I have wanted to read a story like this for a long time and since none existed, that meant that I had to write it. I hope that I did it justice as an accurate representation of a D/s lifestyle.

Sara sat on her bed fidgeting nervously - clasping and unclasping her hands - as she replayed the rescue mission from the gulag. As she replayed _his_ words in her mind.

_Sara, don't do it._ The authoritative tone of his voice had sent a shiver down her spine; one she hadn't felt since Nyssa. _That's how a killer thinks. And that's not you anymore._

She wasn't so sure that she agreed with that sentiment. Killing was all that her bloodlust wanted her to do these days. But she wasn't just her bloodlust. Or was she? 

When Leonard was ordering her to stand down, she didn't feel the bloodlust at all. 

Sara found herself falling into flashbacks of her time with Nyssa - bound and kneeling on the floor of their bedroom as her Mistress whipped the guilt out of her. 

Sara had never expected to find such calm living a life as a submissive, and yet she could honestly say that she felt more herself during her time with Nyssa than she ever had before. It was something that she hadn't realized how much she'd missed - until Leonard Snart had ordered her to stand down. 

And now she found herself wanting to submit to a new Master. If only she could work up the nerve to ask.

Pushing herself off of her bed, Sara strode determinedly out of her room, not stopping until she'd reached Leonard's. His door was closed so she knocked, and let out a sigh of relief - even as a shiver of nervous anticipation skittered down her spine – when the door opened at his prompting.

"Assassin, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he drawled from his reclining position on his bed after she'd stepped into the room.

Sara glanced over her shoulder to make sure the door had closed behind her, then lowered herself to her knees, crossed her wrists behind her back, and bowed her head.

She could practically feel Leonard's eyebrow rise in surprise and she heard him slide off the bed and move to stand before her until she was staring at his boots. 

Then he was squatting before her, one long finger tilting her face up until she could meet his questioning eyes.

"Sara, what are you doing?" he quietly asked, his usual drawl noticeably absent.

"I-- I didn't know how to ask," Sara stuttered, her cheeks flushing. "I never had to ask before."

"To be a submissive?" Leonard asked, knowingly. Then clarified, "To be _my_ submissive?"

"Yes, please," Sara said with a sigh of relief. She let her hope - her desperation - show in her eyes.

"Well, this is certainly not like any request that I've had before," Leonard said, smirk and drawl back in place. He rose to his feet and held a hand out to her. "That position is hell on my knees, and yours can't be much happier. Let's sit and discuss this more comfortably."

Sara, relieved that he hadn't outright rejected her, placed one hand in his, and let him pull her to her feet. He then led her to his desk chair and waited for her to sit before releasing her hand and hopping up to sit on the desk.

"Now, care to tell me what brought this on and why you came to me?" he asked.

"You stopped me from killing Stein," Sara stated. 

Leonard shook his head. "You stopped yourself. I merely reminded you that you didn't really want to do it. But how did _that_ lead to _this_?" He gestured with those elegant fingers of his to the spot on the floor where Sara had just been kneeling.

"That's just it. You were able to say the exact thing that I needed to hear to stop myself from doing something that I would have regretted. And the way that you said it, it made me think that maybe--"

"That maybe I was used to giving orders that people follow?" Sara nodded in response. "I'm a criminal mastermind. If people don't do what I say, they tend to end up dead. By my hand. I don't think that's what you're looking for."

"That may be how you publicly use your dominance, but I think you use it privately, too," Sara said, confidently.

"And what makes you think that?" Leonard asked, his head tilting slightly.

"Mick," Sara said, simply.

The corners of Leonard's lips twitched up. "So, you read between those lines, did you? I always knew you were the smart one on this team."

"Only someone who has lived the lifestyle would know what to look for," Sara said. 

"And you've lived the lifestyle… in Nanda Parbat," Leonard concluded.

"Nyssa was more than my girlfriend," Sara confirmed. "She was my Mistress."

"I thought you fought together," Leonard said.

"We did. On the field, we were equals. It was in our bedroom that we could be our true selves. My Mistress cleansed me of guilt and loneliness."

"And your bloodlust?" Leonard asked.

"No, I did not have the bloodlust until after the Lazarus Pit brought me back," Sara said.

"What, exactly, are you looking for from me?" he asked, finally getting to the heart of the issue.

"It wasn't until my return to the 'real' world that I learned that I was a submissive. I do not feel a desire to fully submit to you, or anyone, but when the bloodlust gets to be too much, I want you to bind and whip me," Sara said. Then she quickly added, "It doesn't have to be sexual, if you don't want it to be. The endorphins released during the whipping will be sufficient."

Leonard let his smirk slip into place as he drawled, "Would you like it to be sexual?"

Since she still had the freedom to do so - they weren't in any kind of arrangement yet - Sara let her eyes roam over Leonard's body and licked her lips. With as much calmness as she could muster, she said, "I would definitely be open to that being on the table."

"I must admit that I am intrigued by your request," Leonard finally admitted. "I'd like some time to think about this."

"Of course," Sara said, standing. She knew a dismissal when she heard one. She started to head to the door, but paused and turned back to face Leonard. "You should probably know that it's been over a year since my last scene - not including the year that I was dead."

"I will keep that in mind," Leonard said. "Don't worry; I won't make you wait too long for my decision."

"Thank you," Sara said and exited the room. 

She walked quickly back to her room and collapsed against the door as it closed behind her. She'd done it. She'd asked for what she wanted. Now she could only hope that he would say yes.


	2. Chapter 2

Leonard remained seated on his desk for several minutes as he replayed the conversation with Sara in his mind. To say that he was surprised by her request would be an understatement. Not that she would come to him, but that she'd needed to make the request at all. He was usually better at reading people, and this was not something that he had sensed in Sara.

"Gideon, tell Mick to come to my room," Leonard finally said, aloud. 

A moment later, Gideon informed him, "Mr. Rory is on his way."

"Thank you."

He moved his desk chair to the center of the room and sat down, facing the door, one leg crossed over the other. 

He didn't have long to wait. Seconds after he'd sat down there was a knock at the door and he'd called out for Mick to enter.

As soon as Mick saw Leonard, he blinked in surprise. "What's going on, Boss?"

"I just had a very intriguing proposition from Sara," Leonard said, without preamble.

"Always knew you'd be the one she'd proposition," Mick said. "What's that got to do with me? Ain't like we're exclusive." 

"Not that kind of proposition," Leonard said. "She wants me to be her Dom."

"That little firecracker is like me?" Mick let out a low whistle. "Didn't see that one coming."

"Nor did I," Leonard admitted, frowning. 

"Guess some of us are better at hiding it than others," Mick said. "You gonna do it?"

"I told her that I needed to think about it," Leonard said.

"You haven't really been my Dom for a while now," Mick pointed out. "You and I both know that I don't do what you say just because I like taking orders. I respect the hell out of you and you're a good leader. Much better than Trench Coat. Hell, we haven't done a real scene in years."

Leonard thought back and realized that Mick was right. They hadn't done a real scene since before the fire that burned Mick so badly. The first time that Mick had defied an order.

"No, lately you seem to prefer self-medicating with booze and drugs than coming to me for a scene," Leonard mused.

Mick shrugged. "Needed some way to escape my demons when we weren't talkin'."

"And when we reunited?" Leonard asked. "I've been waiting for you to ask for a scene."

Mick huffed out a laugh. "Since when did I ever ask for a scene? That's not how we worked. I'd start to get obsessed with the flame and you'd step in and get it under control."

"Until you didn't leave when I told you to," Leonard said, nodding towards the gloves covering the burns on the backs of Mick's hands.

"Yeah," Mick acknowledged, curling his hands into fists and releasing them. "By the time you gave me the heat gun, you were all obsessed with The Flash. Didn't seem like you wanted to be my Dom anymore and I didn't want to get in the way of your infatuation with your new boy in red leather. Looks like now you're all hot and bothered by white leather, though. Can't say as I blame you. She's hot. If she needs you the way I did, I say go for it."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Leonard drawled. 

Mick shrugged. "Way I see it, there's nothing to break up. We'll continue as we have been since we got on this ship: partners."

Leonard nodded and stood, extending a hand to Mick. He took it and shook.

"Partners," Leonard said. "If you ever do feel like you need me…"

"I'll come find you," Mick said. He picked up the black bag near the door that contained the vodka they planned to share with the team. "Good luck with Blondie, Boss. See you on the bridge."

"Thanks, Mick." Leonard said as Mick stepped out of the room.

"Gideon, is Sara in her room?" Leonard queried. 

"Yes, she is still there," Gideon confirmed. "Shall I ask her to come to your quarters?"

"No, I'll go to her," Leonard said. 

"If I may say so," Gideon began, "I may not understand why Ms. Lance has asked this of you, but I am glad that you will be helping her."

Leonard snorted in amusement. "So glad to have your blessing," he drawled. "And Gideon? Don't tell Rip about this unless he specifically asks. He may not understand what we are doing either, and what Sara and I consent to is none of his business."

"I will not lie to the Captain," Gideon said.

"I'm not asking you to," Leonard said. "If he asks what's going on between us, tell him. I'm just asking you to not offer up the information, unsolicited."

"I can agree to that," Gideon said. 

"Thanks, Gideon," Leonard said and exited his room.

As promised, he found Sara in her room, sitting on the floor in a lotus pose, trying to meditate. When the door opened to reveal Leonard, she immediately started to try to shift to her knees, only managing to topple over in the process of unwinding her legs.

Leonard chuckled and helped her to right herself, saying, "You can stay sitting."

Sara's face fell. "Your answer is no?"

"On the contrary, my answer is yes," Leonard said, his frozen heart melting a bit at the look of hope, happiness, and relief that filled Sara's face.

"But--" Sara gestured to her position.

"We're just going to have a conversation right now," Leonard said and slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor with her, his long legs stretched out before him.

"What, um, what did you want to talk about?" Sara asked, trying not to fidget under the weight of his stare.

"Terms, expectations, you know, contract negotiations," he said, making vague gestures with his hands.

Sara huffed out a laugh. "There were no contracts in Nanda Parbat."

"But you had rules for your relationship as Mistress and sub?" Leonard asked. "You had a safe word at the very least, I hope."

"Oh, yes, we had rules. She was only my Mistress in the bedroom. When we were with the League, we were equals. She knew that it was hard enough for me as a blonde, white woman, to fit in with the League, and she didn't want to give the others cause to harm me more because I liked to be whipped in the bedroom."

"And a safe word?" Leonard prompted.

"Amazo," Sara said, shuddering slightly.

"Would you like that to be our safe word?" Leonard asked, hoping she'd pick something that was less obviously abhorrent her. He didn't know the story behind that word, but he could see that it brought her mental pain.

"No," Sara whispered. "I want to put that behind me, for good."

"Very well," Leonard said. "Safe--" 

Sara interrupted him with: "Gambit."

Leonard smiled. "I take it there's a story there?" 

Sara nodded, a smile teasing her lips. "Maybe I'll tell you about it, someday."

Having researched his teammates upon boarding the Waverider, Leonard already knew that the Queen's Gambit was the boat she'd been on with Oliver Queen when it sank, but all he said was, "I look forward to hearing about it."

"It's not a happy story," Sara admitted.

"So few are," Leonard said. Sobering, he returned to the business at hand, "Now that we have a safe word, we should discuss terms and expectations."

"Such as?" Sara asked.

"What do you expect from me?" Leonard asked. "What do you need from me?"

Sara took a moment to think about it, which pleased Leonard. "When the bloodlust starts to take over, I want - need - you to beat it back. Literally."

"What do you prefer to be beaten with?" Leonard asked. "I won't use my bare hands."

"A whip or paddle," Sara promptly answered. 

"Bullwhip, flogger, crop… or something else?"

"Crop," Sara said, quickly. "The League used a single tipped whip for punishments. You'll see scars that they left, but none of them were from Nyssa. Floggers are usually too light an impact, for me. I have a very high tolerance for pain."

"That is good to know," Leonard said. "What else?"

"That's all that I can think of. Just-- talk to me like you did tonight, if you need to."

"Give you orders in front of the team? Isn't that taking it out of the bedroom?" Leonard asked.

"They don't have to know why, but better to have you order me to stand down than for me to do something we both know I'd regret," Sara said. "May I ask some questions?"

"Of course," Leonard said, leaning back against the wall.

"What do you want me to call you when we're in a scene?" Sara asked. 

"Titles don't do anything for me," Leonard admitted. "Mick liked to call me 'Boss', but we also worked together when we weren't in a scene, and that was easiest for him... 'Sir' will be fine for us."

Sara smiled. "'Sir,' it is. Will you be starting scenes on your own or will I always be requesting them?"

"I'm not going to take advantage of you, Sara," Leonard said. 

"I would certainly hope not," Sara said. "But you should be getting something out of this, too. I'm sure you're not going to beat me just to make me happy. You don't strike me as the kind of person to act solely for other people's benefit. Perhaps I should have asked, 'What's in this for you?'"

"I don't do anything out of the good of my heart," Leonard said. "I take pleasure in being in control; in disciplining others."

"Will beating me be enough for you?" Sara asked.

Leonard grimaced. "Let's not use that word. Too many memories of a not-so-fun childhood."

"Of course," Sara agreed. 

"I know that you're not looking for someone to run your life - just to give you calm and clarity. I can do that, and in doing so for you, it will allow me to be in control. _I_ will have been the one to have brought you that clarity. That is what will bring me pleasure."

"That will be enough?" Sara pressed.

"Let's agree to play that by ear, at first. This discussion will not be closed when we leave this room tonight. I want us to agree to an open dialog, always."

"I can agree to that," Sara said. She shifted to her knees and crawled closer to Leonard, who had to force himself to remain still. She stopped when she was kneeling next to him, her thigh almost touching his. "And what about sex?"

"I already admitted that I would be interested in sex being a part of this arrangement," Leonard said.

"Will you fuck me while you… discipline me?" Sara asked. 

"During? No," Leonard said, leaning closer. "After, yes. Would you let me tie you up during sex?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't," Sara purred, licking her lips. "When can we start?"

Before Leonard could answer, Gideon interrupted them. "Mr. Snart, Ms. Lance, your presence is requested on the bridge." 

"Forgot about the celebration," Leonard groaned. "We better go before Mick drinks all the vodka."

Sara whimpered her disappointment. 

"We'll find time for a scene soon, I promise," he said, reaching out to run a finger along her cheek.

Sara tilted her head into the caress. "I can't wait."

"Do you already have the toys we'll need or should we have Gideon fabricate them for us?" Leonard asked.

"I didn't bring anything with me," Sara admitted. "Didn't think I'd need to."

"After the celebration, have Gideon make what we'll need," Leonard ordered. "You know what you like used on you the best."

They stood and reluctantly went to join the others.


	3. Chapter 3

When the team hadn't seen the captain for over twenty-four hours after leaving Star City 2046, and the ship didn't seem to be moving on to a new destination any time soon, Sara and Leonard decided it was time for their first scene.

Sara knelt on the floor of her bunk on a thick area rug that Gideon had made just for this purpose. When Sara had gone to the fabrication room to have the crop and paddles made, Gideon had had some surprising suggestions of her own, the rug being one of them. Apparently, while the team was off trying to save future Star City, Gideon had searched her databanks to learn more about human Dom/sub relationships and the implements that were often used during scenes. Sara had taken her up on several of her suggestions. 

Leonard slowly circled Sara, allowing the anticipation to build, for both of them. 

After the clusterfuck that was Star City 2046, he'd had to force himself to not drag Sara back here immediately to help feel a sense of control again. That was not the right frame of mind for him to be in for their first scene, no matter how frustrated Mick had made him.

Leonard had to wonder if part of Mick's behavior in future Star City was an act of rebellion. An act of an angry former sub. Mick had all but accused Leonard of wanting to go after Sara because she was his new favorite toy. How much of his desire to stay there was because of the chaos of the city and how much was because he felt rejected by his Dom?

Leonard took a deep breath and forced thoughts of Mick out of his head. He returned his attention to Sara as he passed behind her again. She hadn't been lying when she'd said that she had whip scars on her back. Those weren't the only scars he saw, though. There were bullet wounds, knife wounds, and on her chest, three wounds from arrows. 

Sara knelt, sitting on her heels, wearing nothing but a pair of red boyshorts. Soon, he would have her move to stand by the bed so that he could secure her to the hand holds at either end of the bed, but for now, he was enjoying seeing her on her knees as the anticipation built for both of them.

She'd decided to braid her hair in two long braids so the ends rested on her clavicles, to keep her hair off of her back.

"I like your hair like this for these scenes," Leonard remarked, making one final circle, dragging the crop across her skin as he completed his circuit. "From now on, you are only to wear your hair like this to indicate that you need a scene. Do you understand?"

Sara's breath hitched and he caught the edge of her smile as she agreed, "Yes, Sir."

"Rise and go stand by the bed," Leonard said, finally. "Are you sure that you don't want anyone else here for our first scene? I could send for Mick."

"No, I trust you, Sir," Sara said. She gracefully rose to her feet and moved to stand next to her bed, holding her arms out. Leonard picked up one leather belt that he'd left out on the bed and looped it around her right wrist before securing it to the handhold at the foot of the bed; then he repeated the process with her other wrist. Once he was satisfied that her arms weren't overextended, he took a step back and removed his shirt, leaving him in a black tank top. 

"Since this is our first scene together, we'll start with ten," Leonard said. 

"I can take more than that," Sara said. 

Leonard smirked, having expected her to want to up the count. "All right, then; fifteen. Count them out."

"Yes, Sir," Sara quickly agreed.

He took several practice swings, listening to the whoosh of the leather through the air, before finally bringing it down against Sara's skin.

"Yes," Sara sighed, arching into the sensation. "One."

Leonard brought the crop down in a different spot each time, experimenting with the amount of pressure, watching as her skin flared red upon impact. 

By the time she counted to fifteen, Sara's back was an array of red marks. Leonard could already imagine the patterns he could leave on her skin as they came to learn each other's limits better. He tossed the crop onto the bed and stepped closer to Sara. He placed his hands on her shoulders and ran his hands down her back, feeling the heat radiating off of her skin.

"Is this okay?" he quietly asked her – testing her boundaries.

"More than," Sara panted. 

He removed the restraints, watching as Sara stretched, hissing as the welts on her back pulled. She was smiling when she turned to face him. "Thank you. Did you get what you needed?"

"I did," Leonard acknowledged. "I think this arrangement is going to be very mutually beneficial."


	4. Chapter 4

Several days later the ship was still idling in the time stream. Sara and Leonard were playing gin in one of the cargo holds while Mick paced like a caged animal. 

"I'm done," Mick growled, throwing one of Sara's knives at the wall. 

"Don't mind him. He's still sore about having to leave 2046," Leonard said.

"I'm sore because I was recruited for my unique ability to light things on fire. And now, I'm locked in the one place where I can't light things on fire: a spaceship," Mick ranted. 

"Where do you think you're going?" Leonard asked as Mick stepped over his and Sara's legs on his way up the stairs. 

"Why? You gonna clock me in the head if I don't listen again?" Mick accused. He glared at Leonard for another beat before turning and stomping up the stairs.

"Everything okay with you two?" Sara asked, glancing up from her cards. 

"Yeah, peachy," Leonard drawled.

"He needs a scene," Sara said, playing a card.

Leonard sighed. "I know. But after ending our last couple of arguments by knocking him out with my gun, he's not much in the mood to take orders from me."

"Can't say that I blame him," Sara said, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Your conflict resolution skills could use some work."

"I got frustrated," he admitted, taking his turn. "I'm not used to Mick ignoring me when I tell him to do something."

"I can talk to him," Sara offered. 

"We're busy," Leonard pointed out.

"Gin," Sara said, laying out her cards.

"After me, you're his least favorite person on this ship, right now," Leonard pointed out.

"More than Ray?" Sara teasingly asked.

"Yes, more than Ray," Leonard agreed. "He wanted to leave you with Wilson."

"If he's just jealous, like you said, then maybe I can convince him that I don't mind sharing if he doesn't," Sara said. 

"And if he does?" Leonard asked.

Sara rose to her feet, smiling sweetly. "Then I'll just have to convince him."

Leonard watched as Sara climbed the stairs, hoping that this didn't go as badly as he feared.

~~*~~

"Gideon, where is Mick?" Sara asked as she reached the top of the stairs.

"He is in his room," Gideon answered.

"Thanks," Sara said and headed in that direction. 

"Go 'way," Mick hollered in response to her knock.

"It's Sara," she called out.

"Then go back to your new master," Mick called back.

"We need to talk," Sara insisted.

The door opened and Mick filled the doorway. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Then you can listen to me," Sara said, ducking around him into the room. 

"Get out," Mick growled, trying to use his size to intimidate her into leaving.

"Not until we talk this out," Sara said.

"Nothing to talk about. He was my master and now he's yours. There, we talked. Get out," Mick said.

"Yes, he's my Master," Sara said, backing him up until he bumped into his workout bench and sat down. "Since when does that mean that he can't still do scenes with you? Doms and subs aren't exclusive. If you need him, which you obviously do, then stop being an idiot and go ask for what you need."

"You don't know the first thing about what I need," Mick snarled. 

Sara could see the conflict in his eyes. He was angry with her, but she could tell that he also wanted to submit to the dominance she was projecting at this moment.

"I know that it's tearing you up inside to go against your former master the past few days. I know that even now, as much as you profess to hate me because of my new relationship with Leonard, you want to submit to me for taking control of this situation. I know that you want it to just go back to the way things were before when it was just the two of you and following his orders was as easy as breathing," Sara said.

As she spoke, Mick's face slowly relaxed. "Yeah," he agreed with a sigh.

"I don't know what your scenes were like, but I know that you need one. Desperately. We're all going to be on this ship together for a long time and we need to find a way to all get what we need without tearing the ship apart. Or ourselves," Sara continued.

"I told him I didn't need him," Mick reluctantly admitted.

"Didn't he also tell you that if you ever did need him, all you had to do was ask?" Sara reminded him.

"How'd you know that?" Mick asked suspiciously.

"I think I'm getting to know Leonard pretty well. He doesn't seem like the type to abandon someone just because the nature of your relationship changed," Sara said. 

"I don't think I like how well you're getting at reading him. Or me," Mick grumbled. 

"If you give it a chance, I think you'll like getting to know me better," Sara teased.

Smirking, Mick asked, "How much better?"

"I suppose that depends on you," Sara said, turning to leave. At the door, she looked back at Mick. "Just go talk to him. He wants to do scenes with you still; he's just waiting for you to ask."

"I'll think about it," Mick finally agreed.

~~*~~

"Go ahead and say it," Mick said to the empty room as he lay back on his workout bench to stare at the ceiling. "I know you were eavesdropping."

"I believe that Ms. Lance is correct," Gideon responded. 

"'Course you do," Mick huffed.

"From what I have observed, Ms. Lance is much calmer and happier since she and Mr. Snart had their, as they called it, scene," Gideon said. "If Mr. Snart could do the same for you, I do not understand why you do not take advantage of the opportunity. You do not seem to be calm or happy."

"You can say that again," Mick muttered. "It's not that easy. Too much has happened lately. He doesn't listen to me."

"Perhaps you're not trying hard enough," Gideon suggested. "Tell him how you feel."

"We don't do feelings, let alone admit to having them," Mick said. "Can't tell him how much it hurts that he doesn't take what I want seriously just because it may not be what he wants anymore. We were supposed to be in this for the take, not go falling for white hats and wanting to save the world."

"I believe that we have found the root of your problem," Gideon commented. 

"He's not gonna like what I have to say," Mick said.

"Then perhaps he needs to hear it even more if you're to survive this mission together," Gideon said.

"Or maybe it's time to call it quits and end this farce of a partnership," Mick said. "No reason to stay where I'm not wanted."

"No one has said that they don't want you here," Gideon said.

"Don't you go coddlin' me," Mick said. "No one would give a rat's ass if I wasn't here, 'cept maybe Snart."

"Ms. Lance seems to enjoy your company as well," Gideon pointed out.

"Not as much as my partner," Mick grumbled. 

"The captain has finally emerged from his study. Please report to the bridge," Gideon said, abruptly changing topics.

"We finally goin' somewhere?" Mick asked as he got up.

"Most likely, yes," Gideon answered.

"Thank goodness. Need some action after all of this talking," Mick said.


	5. Chapter 5

Mick groaned from where he lay on the ground in some kind of clearing. "I told you that'll be the last time you hit me." 

"You were right," Leonard said, priming the cold gun.

"That the plan? Take me out in the middle of nowhere, where no one can find the body?" Mick accused. 

"I wish there were some other way, Mick, but you're dangerous. A liability to the team."

"Team?" Mick barks out a laugh. "You and I were a team! What happened to you?" 

"People change," Leonard said. 

"You think you're some kind of hero, but deep down you're still the same punk kid I saved in juvie. You haven't got the guts. You want to kill me? Kill me. Only one of us is walking out of here alive," he taunted, knowing that Leonard would never do it.

"You're right," Leonard said, firing over his shoulder before rushing forward and knocking Mick out with his gun. Again. "I'll be back for you, old friend," he promised. "When you've had a chance to cool down, I'll be back for you and we'll get you sorted out."

Sara was waiting for him in his room when he returned to the ship; on her knees, her hair in braids, wearing nothing but a black silk robe.

"Not tonight, Sara," Leonard said, unholstering his gun and placing it in its case before removing the holster and hanging it up.

"I know you must be feeling out of control," Sara said. "Let me help you get some of that back."

"I said, not tonight," Leonard snarled, spinning to face her. "I'm not in control of myself right now and I won't take that out on you."

"Isn't that the point of all of this?" Sara asked. "So you can be in control."

"Not when my emotions are this volatile," Leonard argued. "I'm not safe right now."

"I don't mind," Sara said.

"I'm no sadist," Leonard said, shaking his head. "I appreciate the offer, but not tonight."

Rising, Sara asked, "Then how can I help?"

Leonard just wanted to be alone, but Sara looked so earnest in her desire to be there for him, that he couldn't completely turn her away.

"Go get your hairbrush," Leonard ordered.

"Yes, Sir," Sara chirped, rushing out the door to do so.

Leonard took advantage of being alone to sink onto his desk chair, choking back a sob. He couldn't get emotional now. He may not have killed Mick like the team thought he had, but he also had no idea of how long it would be before he could get back to him. He just hoped that he'd be able to figure out how to get the jump ship to return to just moments after he'd left him.

Sara returned and handed him the large rectangular brush with the wooden back and handle. 

"How do you want me?" she asked, starting to remove the robe.

"Leave the robe on," Leonard quickly said, much to Sara's bewilderment. "Sit on the floor in front of me, back to me."

Her forehead creased in confusion, Sara did as she was told. "I don't understand."

Leonard took one of her braids in hand and removed the hair tie. He began to unravel the loose braid with his fingers.

"When I said there would be no scene, I meant it," Leonard said. 

"But the wooden brush?"

"The _hair_ brush," Leonard reminded her, taking the item from his lap and running it through her hair, "is for its vanilla use."

"You just want to brush my hair?" Sara asked, still confused.

Leonard set the brush down and undid the other braid. "When my sister, Lisa, was little, she used to like to have me brush her hair. It was calming for both of us. A reassurance that we were both all right."

As Leonard resumed brushing her hair, Sara pulled her knees to her chest and said, "My sister, Laurel, used to brush my hair, too. She's the one who taught me how to braid hair."

"I had to teach Lisa that, too," Leonard admitted. "Our mom was long gone by then, and dear old Dad certainly wasn't going to take the time for something like that. So I blackmailed a girl at school to teach me so that I could do Lisa's hair."

"You did a lot to take care of her, didn't you?" Sara asked.

"I did what I could," Leonard answered, handing the brush back to her. "How's your arm?"

"Gideon fixed me right up. Like it never happened." Sara turned around to face him and asked, "How was Mick when you left him?"

"How do you know he's not dead?" Leonard asked, surprised.

"Please, there's no way you were going to kill your partner and recently former sub," Sara said with a dismissive wave of her hand. 

"Unconscious," Leonard admitted. Sara raised an eyebrow at that. "I knocked him out with my gun."

"So you just left him there?" Sara asked.

"When things die down a bit I'll borrow the jump ship and go get him. I'll take him somewhere safe," Leonard said.

"I don't know if he'll ever forgive you for this," Sara said. "In his eyes, you chose me over him. Before he left for the Acheron, I'd almost convinced him to ask you to be his Dom again."

"Apparently not," Leonard countered.

"I tried to get him to talk to you as well," Gideon interrupted. 

"Thanks Gideon," Leonard said. "But we're having a private discussion here."

"Of course," Gideon said.

"What else can I do to help you tonight?" Sara asked, tentatively resting her hands on his knees.

"Go get dressed. I'll grab a bottle from Rip's stash and we'll drink and play cards," Leonard said.

"That's what you want?" Sara asked.

"That's what I want," Leonard confirmed. "Just, keep me company tonight."

Sara grinned up at him. "I can do that."

"Then, in a day or two, we can do another scene," Leonard offered.

"I'm looking forward to it."

The End


End file.
